public service announcement for women

Helpful Information Relating to Men

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car,
I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia
has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
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Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running
very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the
engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another
man shows up, one of us will say to the other,
'I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything, I
wouldn't know where to start.' We will then drink
a couple of beers and break wind, as a form
of holy communion.
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Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to
purchase basic groceries at the store, like beer,
milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic
items like 'cumin' or 'tofu.' For all I know, these
are the same thing.
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Because I'm a man, I must hold the television
remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the
thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it.....though I may be able to survive
by holding a calculator...(applies to engineers mainly).
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Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing
is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago
was fine, too.. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or
without it, looks fine.. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can
we just go now?
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This has been a public service announcement for the betterment
of male-female relationships everywhere.